It's on par with thinking about your parents having sex. If they're little right now, the whole concept can feel surreal. What they do behind closed doors is none of my business.Īs a parent, it can be hugely confronting to think about your kids having sex. Now he is 19 and has another girlfriend and she stays over regularly and we all adore her and how can any of that be a bad thing? I assume he put them in an Uber to make sure they got home safely and treated them with the utmost respect because that's how he's been raised ( he wrote more about that here) and that's the kind of man he is. Or if he has (he probably has), they've been gone by the morning and I've been none the wiser. My son has never had a girl I didn't know stay over. In case you think our house is some kind of teenage sex den, let me alleviate you of that delusion. "Just because I had certain rules growing up, being a parent is about making your own." (Image: Supplied) Every parent has to make their own decision based on their own circumstances and their own kid. And my rule is that sleepovers in the same room was OK - for my son in this situation. If she'd raised sleeping arrangements with me I would have asked what she was comfortable with and then willingly complied.īut she didn't so I decided it wasn't my business to police what someone else's child was or wasn't allowed to do.
Was I responsible for upholding rules or boundaries for other people? In the case of my son's girlfriend, she was a full year old than him and I'd met her mother and spoken to her on the phone before when she'd joined us for a few days on holidays. Let's see how my husband and I feel about that when the time comes.although based on the risks for girls having sex in parks and at parties and being filmed, it could be argued that it's even more important for them to be able to have their partners stay over. Perhaps I would have felt differently if he were a girl but I don't think so and I don't plan to have different rules for our daughter. Would you apply the same relaxed rules for your daughter?Įxcellent question. Mia talks about her reasoning on the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud: Even if they did realise their brother was having sex (they didn't), there are lots of things older people do that young kids know they can't. And a 'bad' example? Again, see my beliefs above. But whenever they had sleep overs, their friends slept in the same room so it's not like they were aware of any big difference for their brother. Yes, I had younger children in the house. Here are some of the things you might be wondering at this point: What about setting a bad example to your other kids? So that's how I came to allow my son's girlfriend to stay overnight in his room. And just because I had certain rules growing up, being a parent is about making your own. Sure, my parents didn't allow sleepovers before I was 18 but that didn't stop me having sex or even slow me down ( you can read about that here). The law says they are old enough to have sex. I also reminded myself that my son and his girlfriend were both over the legal age of consent.
I want my children to experience and enjoy their sexuality in a loving, committed relationship at an appropriate age.that sex is better and safer when it's indoors and in private rather than in a park, at a party or in someone's car.
that sex is a healthy part of a good relationship.I KNOW." (Image: Supplied)īefore I did a backflip and allowed her to sleep in his room, I reflected on my beliefs: "As a parent, it can be hugely confronting to think about your kids having sex. And eventually I realised I was being silly. Luca rolled his eyes at the fact he even had to go through the motions of separate rooms. I have no idea what happened after I went to bed but I can guess because I’ve been 16. I said sure and then I made her sleep on the couch in another room. The first time he asked if she could stay over, they had already been together a few months. It was a lovely relationship and lasted almost a year. My son had his first serious girlfriend at age 16 and she was a year older than him. But I’m happy with my decision and I’m happy to share how I came to making it. This question is perplexing many of my friends at the moment, the ones with teens around 15, 16, 17.Īs with most parenting dilemmas, I had to figure this one out on my own a few years earlier than my friends because their kids are mostly younger than my eldest. When do you know when your kid is old enough to have sex and wants to have someone sleep over at your house?